I understand Curling. That high.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
