I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
