We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Drunk is not a location!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
