He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
