omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she woke up with a sticky ear
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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