And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
