whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We have so much sex to catch up on
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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