I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
