She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
