Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
