Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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