i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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