Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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