I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
we're so committed to being not committed
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
