I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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