You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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