dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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