so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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