I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
