Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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