Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
