What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm too high and old for this...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
