just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
