my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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