Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
