I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize