Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
