imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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