dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
