You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
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