nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
