Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
