Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
