And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
