I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
