After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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