the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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