i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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