i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My vagina just recognized that song.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
