It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
