Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
