No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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