does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize