Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
