They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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