party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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