What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize