dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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