you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
