soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So squirting runs in the family.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
