I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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