Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize