my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
