Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
