Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize