And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
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