i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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