Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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