Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
