I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
