Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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