ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm just crazy horny about you
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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