How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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